genesis

For those of you who are googling "genesis" and other bible-related terms in light of the upcoming Day of Judgement - May 21st - and found this blog post instead, I say ha! fooled ya bitches! Instead, here you are,  reading the very first blog post of a 20 year old girl-not-yet-a-woman whose ego is currently over-inflated from hours of solitude with nothing but Tina Fey and Chelsea Handler books to fill her time.

Before you promptly leave my blog to google more tidbits of info about the glorious day of rapture and then head on over to Old Navy's online catalog to pick out a jazzy outfit for this upcoming Saturday the 21st, let me introduce you to what this little project is about.

Like I said, fueled by nothing more than an entire bag of Cheeto's all natural white cheddar puffs and the rantings of two middle aged female comedians, I have decided to turn to the comfort of the virtual world to share my god-given gift of delightful humor. Why the blog url "whatkittensays?" Good question, new friends. Kitty is my real life, and now online, internety-alias because I don't want the computer world know who I iz n' shit, you know? Haven't you ever seen Dateline NBC? What if I get fooled into coming over to one of my new online friend's - let's call him "Ray"- house to "chill"? What if Ray then strangles and dismembers me and turns me into chili? That's a risk i'm not willing to take (yet). Maybe when I start collecting followers like the Pied Piper collected rats (and by this I mean my followers is n>5) I will reveal my TRUE identity. Anywhoos, I played around for about 5 minutes with possible blog names involving variations of the name "kitty", "kitten" and in the last 15 seconds in my darkest hours of desperation, "puss." I'm sorry to say that I'm tardy to the blog world party, and the only available url was "prettylilkitty" which either sounded like a discrete way to name a blog where you post pictures of your cupcake or an actual blog about someone's kitty, created by a very, very, sad woman living in Ohio.