I have some grave news my fellow kitty cats. It has come to my attention that an unspeakable tragedy is occurring before our own oblivious eyes just south of the border (note: this is not referring to my horrendous case of bikini razor burn, but to Mexico.) No, I am not speaking of the drug cartels, countless cases of human trafficking, or kidnapped American tourists who were only looking to try to get laid and party cheap in Tijuana. The news that I am about to tell you will affect your family, your friends, and most certainly your girls night out at the local Chili's™.
Tequila production has dropped dramatically in recent years and this precious nectar of the gods may soon disappear altogether. If you want to learn more click here, but reading is boring and I know you guys have more important things to do like raid your local liquor stores in search for any "especials" on decent "ta-kill-ya."
But don't worry friends. There is hope. Bono has his RED thing going on, Michelle Obama has her making kids stop being fat tubs of lard foundation, and now I have my own way to make the world a better place. May I present to you my new philanthropic campaign - "Treasure Our Tequila."
I know you all are dying to ask, "But how can I contribute to such a great cause?" Great question, folks. All you need to do is send a check, paypal transaction, or money order to my home address. That's it! It's that easy! I guzzle enough tequila weekly to keep a small Mexican village of agave farmers thriving for at least 12 years.
Make a difference. Help a family. Treasure our tequila.
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